Black Helicopters


Looking back at Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal as an adult, one can imagine numerous meanings in the song.

On the one hand, one might think it was a patristic, male-centered glorification of violence against women; complete with the macho mafia-inspired pinstripe aesthetic and tommy guns.

On the other hand, one could also see it as a tongue-in-cheek indictment of the above, soaking in over-the-top self-delusion (Annie are you okay? just before describing her murder).

Of course both views are bullshit; Jackson explained in his autobiography Moonwalker that it was simply a groove that he was "into at the time."  No reasonable person would take either of those two points of view seriously.

Now imagine that Smooth Criminal was released way back in 1817 and that the original Moonwalker text was lost to time.  That fans had simply been copying copies of copies of it by hand for two hundred years, each successive generation mutated and corrupted and previous generations lost to the ages.

Now imagine entire cultures arising and modeling their world views around Smooth Criminal.  The original explanation being lost, do those first two opinions on the song have more or less validity in 2017?  How seriously would you take them now?  What would two centuries of inaccurate re-writing have turned Moonwalker into?  Perhaps competing texts, each incorporating subtle changes supporting their own point of view?

Would any of this seem to you, a fan, worth ostracizing opponents of your pet theory?  Sacrificing your own rational thought and free inquiry in exchange for resting secure in the knowledge that YOUR take on Smooth Criminal is the correct one?  Invading Neverland Ranch to displace some johnny-come-lately belief system preaching that the song was really about criminals who shave and are therefore "smooth" ...

Even though those opinions are completely contrived and have no basis in Jackson's intent when writing the song ...

This is how I see religious conflict in Western civilization.  All of it.

Black Helicopters

(no subject)

It's been close to six years.  Just checking in to see if anyone is still here.  I see all my old subscribed feeds are still in place haha.  He-LOOOOO!  ECHO! ECHO!  RIIIIICOOOOLAAAAAAAA!
Black Helicopters

"Wake up, time to die."

LJ is done. The point of my presence on this cooperative blog was community. It has long since been abandoned to the elements: spam scurrying about, open holes letting in gusts of subscriber feeds. The whole place echoes. I remember what a central communication spot this blog was just seven years ago ... wait holy shit was it seven? I don't let go easily, what can I say.

Those of you still wanting to stay in contact can catch me on Facebook as [ redacted ]. I'll be starting up a blog on Wordpress or blogspot or somewhere similar I'd imagine if for no other reason than to post more than three sentences of invective without having to kill a damned flash commercial.

I'll download my journal for posterity, even though most of it is political stupidity, trite observations and other banalities. Who knows? In 20 years I might even be curious about my own mid-30s opinion on expended uranium-tipped munitions.

But I doubt it.

Black Helicopters


I have to say, there really is merit to the old-school monolithic, dictatorial editorship of encyclopediae or other reference sources. The public at large just doesn't have the spelling skills, grammatical prowess, organization of thought, or understanding of even basic logical concepts to be able to maintain something like Wikipedia with any real authority.

Anyone remember Warren Preece? Philip Goetz? Robert Hutchins? Mortimer Adler?
Black Helicopters

Favorite Stupid Interview Questions

... and man I've had some doozies leveled at me in my day. My all-time favorites seem to be the uber-technical job-irrelevant queries submitted by some geek swinging his dick and staking out his territory for the new guys, but then again there are others that I remember fondly as well.

What follows are some real questions, along with my actual responses. Two of the below interviews led to job offers, one of which I actually accepted despite the question.
  • Q: What port can run SSL over HTTP?
    A: Um, I can tell you what port is assigned by IANA to be the default for HTTP over SSL, will that work?

  • Q: How would I go about securing a Red Hat Linux 4.2 workstation? *
    A: Upgrade it to Enterprise 5.2?

  • Q: What's the difference between Smurf and Fraggle?
    A: They do the same essential thing, but one is TCP-based and the other is --
    Q: UDP, yep.
    A: -- I was going to say ICMP.
    Q: ICMP.
    A: Yes, it uses ping, which is part of IP and not a transport layer protocol.
    Q: Okay, do you know the RFC number for ICMP?
    A: 1149. **
    Q: Very good.

  • Q: What microkernel OS attained POSIX.1 compliance in 1997?
    A: I think I'm in the wrong interview.

  • Q: How do you feel about Kevin Mitnick's imprisonment?
    A: Well, I feel that he'd be pretty pissed that that was an interview question ...

  • Q: Do you believe in pre-marital sexual relations?
    A: What? ***
* This was in 2008 - WTF
** It's actually 792, 1149 was a practical joke involving carrier pigeons
*** As it turns out, religious non-profit organizations can do quite a bit of digging around your private life with relative impunity - who knew.
Black Helicopters

Religious Afilliation = Hospitals Give Substandard Care

Hot on the heels of Bishop Thomas Olmstead stripping St. Joseph’s Hospital and Medical Center in Phoenix of its affiliation with the Roman Catholic diocese after it terminated a pregnancy to save the life of the mother, the National Women's Law Center has released a report on entitled Below the Radar: Health Care Providers' Religious Refusals Can Endanger Women's Lives and Health. The study deals with certain religiously affiliated hospitals placing women’s health and lives at risk by restricting doctors’ ability to provide the best medical care to pregnant women experiencing miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies.

The report paints a chilling picture of women with doomed ectopic pregnancies or suffering miscarriages who are not offered the full spectrum of medically appropriate treatment options because they have gone to a hospital whose religious affiliation conflicts with the provision of those options. It also contains a legal analysis commissioned from The Ibis Reproductive Health, a clinical and social science research organization, of the implications of this sickening trend titled Assessing Hospital Policies & Practices Regarding Ectopic Pregnancies & Miscarriage Management.

Not to float any stereotypes here, but we're not talking about pregnant 20-somethings who are avoiding carrying a baby to keep their boobs perky for spring break. These are women who are in the process of miscarrying or suffering through ectopic pregnancies being forced to wait unnecessarily on certain criteria, ie, complete disappearance of fetal heartbeat, in order to receive the care they need. Tubal ruptures, internal bleeding, severe fever, any number of consequences for this lapse of medical care, all for what?

Read the entire report. Legal analysis here.
Black Helicopters

Big. Large.

You know about North Carolina, right? The state? Like many other states, they have a State Bureau of Investigation (SBI). Their SBI has a crime lab with a forensic biology section that tests stuff for ... stuff.

North Carolina's SBI lab underwent a lengthy review from that state's Innocence Commission. This commission consists of a three-judge panel and has like subpoena powers and stuff.

Said commission has determined that, out of 15,419 lab files from 1987 - 2003 that were screened and examined, there were a whopping 230 Laboratory cases in which the crime lab produced negative test results for a prosecution as well as positive, and only the positive results were reported. In some cases positive tests results were reported which didn't even exist.

In 40 of these cases no suspect was charged. Out of a total of 269 individuals ultimately charged in the remaining 190 cases, 80 are still serving sentences (four are on death row).

Three were executed.

Five died in prison.

This Innocence Commission is the only one of its kind in the United States. We need 49 more of them.

Read the whole report here.
Black Helicopters

Ancient Eggnog Recipe

Small batch, awesome stuff.

  • 2 fresh eggs separated
  • 1/4 cup sugar separated into 2 8ths
  • 1/2 cup white rum
  • 1/2 cup bourbon
  • 3/4 cup milk
  • 1/2 cup heavy/whipping cream separated into 2 4ths
  • nutmeg

  1. Separate egg yolks from whites into separate bowls
  2. Beat yolks with 1/8ths cup of sugar, set aside
  3. Beat whites until stiff, then mix in other 8th cup of sugar
  4. Pour yolks INTO whites and mix together SLOWLY
  5. Stir in white rum slowly
  6. Stir in milk slowly
  7. Stir in bourbon slowly
  8. Stir in 1/4 cup of cream slowly
  9. Whip remaining 1/4 cup of cream
  10. Fold whipped cream into mixture CAREFULLY
  11. Serve at room temperature with fresh ground nutmeg